The Daily Stoic for May 26th. “Stop Caring What People Think”.
“I’m constantly amazed by how easily we love ourselves above all others, yet we put more stock in the opinions of others than in our own estimation of self. . . . How much credence we give to the opinions our peers have of us and how little to our very own!”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 12.4
It would be so easy for me to say: “I don’t care what people think”. But that would be a lie. I do care, and I think we all do, to a certain exempt.
Now, I don’t care what people I don’t know or like think about me. Growing as a gay atheist in the catholic south of Spain, in a city where half of the population works for the military… It took me a lot of time to accept who I am, and in the process, I had to learn to don’t give a shit what people thought about me.
However, at the same time, I do care a lot what people I love think about me. Specifically, I take it bad when people I love fail to see who I am. On that occassions, when someone I love thinks I did something to hurt them on purpose, or when one of my friends sees my as a stereotype, I usually get angry.
Stop Caring What People Think
And that’s something I need to work on. It’s difficult to get rid of these feelings: feeling happy when someone we love praise our work or abilities, or getting angry when they say something negative about us.
But in the end, we need to be proud of who we are. By ourselves. I need to stop caring what people I love think about me: family, friends, my husband. Of course, I know they do it because they love me, but it’s true that we control our opinions, and they should not depend on the approval or disapproval of noone. Not even our beloved ones.
Today’s Daily Stoic, “Stop Caring What People Think”, reminds us an importante lesson: Our opinions are ours. We should stop worrying about the opinions of others, or what they think about us. In my case, I acknowledge it’s not easy, especially when considering the opinions of people I love.