The Daily Haiku for Jan 23. I'm so tired.
I feel like I can't stop, and...
... I'm so tired to sleep
"You know I'd give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind" shouts repeatedly John Lennon in "I'm so tired", from the White Album. Few songs have captured that status of pure mental and spiritual exhaustion as well as this one.
This weekend I've been working non-stop to put out a fire in my business. We have an imminent launch and the product was simply not ready.
I have a team of more than 40 people, so there are many questions right now buzzing in my head. Is it my fault? Am I doing something wrong? Am I been too patronizing or am I simply a bad manager? Should I be an asshole like a "regular boss"? Am I being too hard on myself? Is it something unavoidable and happens to all founders from time to time?
I have no answer to that. Perhaps it's because my mind's clogged right now.
The beauty of the Daily Haiku is writing something inspired by how you feel today. This weekend has reminded me of the worst periods of the last winter in Estonia, so it is only natural that today's haiku is not the most cheerful one. And that's totally ok. There will be happier days, and you should not try to hide your feelings or escape from them. On the contrary, we need to acknowledge them, accept them and, try to react in the best way possible.
Today I am not just tired in the physical or mental sense of the word. I am angry and fed up. So I should take some deep breaths, let go, smile, and go to bed. Hopefully the light of a new day will bring clarity to my mind tomorrow.